What Am I Doing?

If a few weeks ago I felt I was doing my best to keep up with a stampede, then in the weeks that have followed, I’ve felt like I was…just…stampedED, I guess. It was a wild-rumpus start to fall, and then I got a lovely break to celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary and my thirty-second birthday. Ten glorious, unplugged days spent camping, hiking, reading, sleeping, and seeing great movies*.

I missed blogging. But I also didn’t have much to say. And I decided, probably because of the unplugging, that I would refuse to feel guilty about not blogging. I needed the space, the time, the quiet. I needed it more than you needed a post about nothing in particular. So I took it.**

By taking a break, I was able to step back and think a little (really, only a little) about what I want from and for this blog. When I first dreamed up Aviatrix, I wanted to create an online space for teen girls. I wanted to offer insight, information, and tools that they could keep in their arsenals for years to come. I wanted to create a space where thinking girls felt safe, nurtured, and part of a community.

And just before I wanted to launch, I found something. Something so wonderful. I found Rookie. It is nearly exactly what I wanted to create. But, better yet, it’s helmed by a sixteen-year-old. It made my idea for Aviatrix completely unnecessary. This sounds as though I am bitter. I am not. I am so very glad that I am not the first person to see this need and want to fill it. My hat goes off to the Rookie team. Brava, ladies!

But, even though the things I wanted to say are being said, I still feel a need to speak. To share. To offer something that’s not already out there. I’m still figuring out exactly what that is, but I do know this:

  1. I want to tell the truth. The real truth.
  2. The truth is, I have a million questions.
  3. The truth is, I don’t have a million answers.
  4. The truth is, I know I’m not the only one.
  5. The truth is, I’m tired of reading “10 Ways To Fix This Specific Problem You Have” lists that do nothing to fix said specific problem because none of us fit into boxes made by lists. (And yet, here I am writing lists.)
  6. The truth is, I want to be part of a community of people who don’t feel the need to curate their lives for public consumption. Most of our lives are not picturesque. Mine certainly isn’t, and I refuse to show it as such.
  7. The truth is, I am fantastically imperfect and I do not intend to change that. But if I go back on these core values, you are within your rights to call me on it. I promise to love you for it.

Dear readers, whoever and wherever you are, let’s start something new. Let’s be ourselves. Let’s see what happens, okay?

*The greatest among them The Perks of Being a Wallflower. More on that later.
**More on this later, too, perhaps.


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